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Issue #11 - 5th Anniversary Edition
11-14-2011, 10:02 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2011 10:12 PM by 420Guy.)
Post: #16
RE: Issue #11 - 5th Anniversary Edition
Category : Creative Work
Author : Bechgyn
Forum : BM
Title: My Prayer

To heav'n I send this prayer in hope,
That there's a Lord as oft they say.
I am the man that you have made
So guide me in a righteous way.
I am not as other men,
And do not yearn for woman's smile.
But see the beauty in a boy
So sweet of form and lacking guile.
Of men I am the most despised
Yet ne'er do harm to him I love.
By word and deed so oft chastised
Who made me thus? The Lord above?
So thus I pray to him who may
Attend my words of quiet despair.
All men will me accept some day
As others do the ones who share
The love of boys of tender years.
That the world will heal and hatred die
And gone will be the the hate and fears
That all's as was in days gone by

Oct 2010
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11-14-2011, 10:02 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2011 10:13 PM by 420Guy.)
Post: #17
RE: Issue #11 - 5th Anniversary Edition
Category: Creative Work
Title: People like us
Author: Jamie S.
Forum: YC

People like us just learn to live like that
As if we're meant to always be away
Hanging in caves upside-down like bats
And always in the dark we have to stay.
I hereby claim solution to this flaw
It's simple: just replace the story bright
And in its place just place one with no law;
To give yourself a pat, turn on the light.
As simple as it is I have to add,
With hope that groveling's not the only way,
That splendour can be caught, and just a tad
Of all your life's happiness will go away.
The thing that's most important all in all
Is that you have your friends in case you fall.
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11-14-2011, 10:03 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2011 10:13 PM by 420Guy.)
Post: #18
RE: Issue #11 - 5th Anniversary Edition
Category : Boylover Reflections
Author : Bechgyn
Forum : BM
Title : The Rosebud

I loved Gordon ever since he had joined the school in the second form, and I told myself that he loved me. He came down to the music room as I practised on a Saturday. I didn't care for cricket but on Wednesday half day, if I hadn't a detention, I'd go down and watch cricket because there were other kids there I wanted to be with, and he'd come and sit next to me. I knew he liked me; I was nuts about him.

I kidded with him that he was a Gypsy because of the beautiful sepia tone to his skin. He wasn't tanned. He was a beautiful shade of brown all over, and his bottom was the same colour as the rest of him. I'd offer to wash his back in the showers and he'd let me. When my hand would migrate lovingly to his neck and then round to his chest in front, he would grip my wrist and say, "That's fine, Michael."

"That's fine?" No it bloody-well wasn't.

A brush off, even when the showers were empty and nobody else was around? It was always the same thing. I tried to tell him how I felt in many different ways, but he wouldn’t catch on. In turn, I couldn’t decide if he was really that stupid or if he was frightened of me?

Then, I got this great idea. Miss Pinkney, had a delivery of flowers, for a birthday, maybe. She was a matron lady, and everybody loved her; I adored her too. She had a special spot for me, and I thought she knew more about me than I wanted her to know. As it turned out, I was right, but she was very discreet about it.
I saw the truck and knew what was in that box, so I tapped gently on her door. "You got flowers, Miss Pinkney? Is it your birthday?"
"Yes Michael, come and see.” There they were. Beautiful white roses, or, rather, rose buds on the point of opening.

"Ahem,” I said. "Could you spare just one?”

"What for?" she asked, and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, I just think they are beautiful.” She smiled disbelievingly.

I had some coloured inks my kid brother, Donny, had given me for my birthday because I was into calligraphy at the time. I took the red ink and carefully, or so I thought, tinged the petals' tips. I had a plan. I tried to be careful, but I made a mess anyway; I am no artist. I just wanted Gordon to get the message and to be pleased. I was always a bit messy as a kid and, but I guess you have already figured that out.

Once again, I tapped on Miss Pinkney's door. "Hello, Michael, back again?"

"Yes, Miss Pinkney. Can I have another rosebud, please?" I stammered.

She raised her eyebrows and gazed steadily at my face. She entered, and then she disappeared into her room and returned with another rosebud. "Ah, ahem,” she said. "How many girlfriends do you have, Michael?”

I blushed to the roots of my scalp. I was sure she knew about me. I rushed off without daring to answer, and I thought I heard her chuckle.

As it turns out, on Old Boys' Day, dear Miss P. admitted that she did know all about me. I loved that gentle, kind lady and always will. In the many years she had been at "T", she had learned more about boys than most Psych professors at any top university you could name.

To continue, well, on my second attempt, diluting the red ink quite a bit, was a success, and I put my pink tinged rosebud into the little box on top of the card on which I had written my poem. I am not sure to this day if I made that poem up or just remembered it.

After Hall the next morning, I dashed down to my homeroom class, ahead of the other boys, and put the little box in Gordon's desk. He sat at the front, and I returned to mine, three rows back. I remember that idiot Hopkins saying something sarcastic about how I loved geometry, for that was our next subject, so much that I couldn't get to homeroom fast enough; I ignored the fat twit.

Gordon was the last to enter the room. It wasn't until we were about a third of the way into the lesson, and doing a proof, when Cliddy (short for Euclid), the senior maths master, left the room to maybe get something from a supply cupboard (or maybe have a smoke because we could all smell tobacco on him) that my love, sweet, handsome, adorable Gordon noticing the box, and opened it. He turned the rosebud over slowly several times for inspection, probably wondering what it was doing there. Then he noticed the card. At this point, I became terrified, absolutely petrified. What had I done? What would he do? What would he say? Would he know it was me? I thought so. What a stupid thing I had done! How dumb! There is nothing more terrifying to a 14 year old than to be teased by his peers for being… well, what was I? I was a boy in love with another kid, a queer, smitten, that is what I was, and I was getting desperate, in a gentle sort of way. Regardless, it was too late to turn back. I had the insane notion I would rush to the front of the room, where he sat, and grab that box and throw it out of the window., but I was rooted to my seat. He took out the poem and read it to himself.

He read:

“The red rose is a falcon
The white rose is a dove
The red rose breathes of passion
The white rose breathes of love
But I send thee a pure white rosebud
With a flush on its petal tips
For the love that is purest and sweetest
Has the kiss of desire on its lips.“

‘How damned stupid of me‘, I thought; I wanted to die, but then Gordon turns and looks at me. He points discreetly in my direction, hand at chest level and smiles. Even if a choir of angels had burst into glorious hallelujahs at that point, I could not have felt more blessed. Oh, if I ever get to heaven, I doubt I will feel as good as I felt at that moment, and there was more to come! He then, pretending to cough, places his hand over his mouth and blows me a secret little kiss.

Did it work? No. The extent of our intimacy was washing each other's backs in the showers. Nothing more. He remained as a good friend for the rest of our schooldays, but it never went beyond that. That doesn't mean I remained celibate, but I am certain he did.
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11-14-2011, 10:30 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2011 10:39 PM by 420Guy.)
Post: #19
RE: Issue #11 - 5th Anniversary Edition
Category: Boy Moments
Title: How a Boy Can Make it all Worthwhile
Author: 420Guy
Forum: MBM

These days, nothing seems to go right. We all go through these times, I guess....when everything you say or do seems to come out wrong.

I wasn't supposed to work Friday, but agreed to cover a shift. I'm not one who believes a lot in fate, but this is one of those times. The lobby was super busy first thing, so I was called to remove dirty sheets etc. before the girls came in to clean the rooms and make beds. When the lobby was clear, I headed down to get cleaning.

Standing at the vending machines was a small person, a boy! Just seeing a boy is a rare event for me, since I usually work graveyard shifts. As I walked past him, I turned and said "Hello."

"What?" he replied. He's about 9 or 10 years old, shortish black hair, and was wearing shorts. So of course I had to sneak peeks at his amazing legs!

"Hello." I repeated.

"Oh, hi." he replied, and smiled. Well, that would have been enough to cure my blues right there!

A half hour later he wandered back down to the lobby. He asked me "Is it okay for me to use the pool table?"

"Probably, but let's ask at the front desk to be sure." I said. The receptionist was busy, which gave us time for a little small talk. It also gave me a chance to admire his features a little more closely. He even had a little dash of freckles on the tip of his nose.

We got the okay and I led him to the pool table. As I left him (getting paid to work after all ) I realized 2 things; I didn't know what this amazing boy's name was, and he had an amazing bubble-butt. I made a mental note to ask if I saw him again.

It seemed for a while that our paths just wouldn't cross again. But sure enough, we ended up bumping into each other at the vending machines again. He didn't have enough for a bottle of coke, so I said, "There's a few pop machines upstairs, let's go check them out. By the way, I didn't ask you what your name is."

"Estin" he replied, and smiled again.

"I'm 420Guy, it's good to meet you. "

"It's good to meet you too." he replied happily. Estin....what a cool name!

We went upstairs and he was able to afford a can of coke. He said thanks, and then we parted ways once again. I'm not sure if we'll meet again today, but I hope so! Somehow, being in the presence of a boy makes it all seem worth while.
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11-14-2011, 10:30 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2011 10:40 PM by 420Guy.)
Post: #20
RE: Issue #11 - 5th Anniversary Edition
Category: Adults and Boys Together
Title: How I Started A Friendship With A Little Boy In Church
Author: ArchAngel
Forum: BM

During the last Easter Season my wife and I went to the Palm Sunday vigil Mass. Both of us were the lectors. Before the service started I noticed a cute boy with his mom in the front pew. I couldn't get him out of my mind.

During the Gospel reading of the Passion of Christ I was the narrator and my wife was the speaker. It was quite long and this boy started yawning. I looked at him and gave him a smile in between my parts. He smiled back. This went on throughout the reading. It was almost like we were flirting with each other. I didn't care one bit if anyone noticed. How could they anyway, since he was in the front pew? His mom also smiled at me.

I hoped that I would have the chance to meet him after Mass. When the service was over, I noticed that they had left. My wife went to chat with other ladies, who were selling raffle tickets. So I rushed to the parking lot, and they were still there chatting with some people who appeared to be friends. There was this boy and his mom and another lady and a girl.

The boy was waving in my direction. I looked around to see if he was waving at someone else. It was me he was waving to. My heart skipped a beat. Should I go up to them? Would that be weird considering the circumstances how we connected? Often when opportunities present themselves you have to seize them or forever harbor regrets in your mind. Hence I buttoned down and walked up to them. They were all smiling at me as if they were expecting me to drop over. If they did I can only attribute that to the boy.

I shook his hand and asked his name; "Jacob," he replied. His mother smiled at me and I introduced myself to her. She really liked my reading. Then the other lady introduced the little girl to me. Her name was Julie. I found out Jacob was in grade six at the same middle school my son attended. Julie, who was about two years younger, told me the name of her school, but it didn't register. I thought they were cousins, as the ladies looked like sisters. I later discovered the ladies were indeed sisters, but Julie was Jacob’s sister. They all smiled at me and were very friendly indeed.

But what made me feel so good was that Jacob couldn't take his eyes off of me and continued to smile at me. As they left, he said "bye Eddie,” and kept on looking and smiling at me with that cute face, with his head turned as they walked out to their car. Oh, I could have gone and given him a big hug, but I didn't want to freak them out, since I had only just met them.

Before they walked away, I asked if they would be attending the services on Holy Thursday and Good Friday, and they said they would. My heart so much wanted to ask for contact information, but my mind said not to rush it. There would be other occasions to do that.

On the drive home I told my wife about what happened. She said she hadn't noticed the boy, as she was busy, and changed the subject. She was in a very good mood because her women’s group sold a lot of raffle tickets after Mass. I mention this because, not long ago, she discovered I had a soft spot for boys, and I wanted to be up-front with her regarding this new-found friendship.

Oh, one more thing, before I left Jacob I asked him if he was an altar server. His mom said no, as he had not made his first Holy Communion. I did notice that he did not take Holy Communion. She said that after his first Holy Communion he would be able to serve at Mass.

I attended Jacob’s first Communion Mass on Easter Sunday, with my camera ready to shoot pictures and videos. I also noticed he had been baptized and confirmed. I gave him a special rosary as a gift, which he was thrilled to receive. I then had the opportunity to meet his father, who was Jewish and had parents who were mixed Anglo Saxons and Japanese. His mother had a Hispanic Heritage. No wonder both he and his sister had stunning good looks. Jacob hugged me in the parking lot and wouldn’t let me go. He really made me feel special, and it all started with those knowing glances on Palm Sunday.

Jacob had light olive colored skin, dark hair and light brown eyes. And he had a smile that could light up the room. Julie had an impish grin and a playful look. She had beautiful long hair that framed her thin body. I took a lot of pictures and videos that I made into a short video with background music. Jacob’s mother gave me permission to show it to them in their home when I had completed that the project.

I did visit them to show the family my handiwork. They really loved it and especially that I did all of that for their son, especially because I had done it all for their son. There was more. I found out that Jacob and Julie were learning the piano but stopped because they weren’t making much progress after two years, and they also didn’t like the teacher. I offered to teach them, and their parents were ecstatic about this, seeing how much Jacob liked me. Both the kids told me all about the scouts they were involved with and brought out their uniforms to show me. We agreed that I would visit them every week for the piano lessons.

Since that chance-meeting on Palm Sunday, I now teach Jacob and Julie the keyboard, as that is what they currently have. Nearly every time I visit them, their father emphasizes how his kids can hardly wait for me to show up to give them their piano lessons. For me these are no ordinary lessons, as once I finish teaching we all socialize together, and I get updates about what has happened in their lives during the past week.

Could I hope that maybe, just maybe, I had found a special young friend for the first time in over twenty years?
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11-14-2011, 10:31 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2011 10:40 PM by 420Guy.)
Post: #21
RE: Issue #11 - 5th Anniversary Edition
Category : Creative Work
Title : Do no harm but love him well and you'll have no concern.
Author : Bechgyn
Forum : BoyMoment

A young YouTuber wrote to me a long time ago thus "I am 12 and I like younger kids, I think I'm a pedo and everyone will hate me. What can I do?"
I hear this message and others like it. Even though I grew in a time and place fortunate for me, the pain of listening is almost unbearable. So I wrote this :

The gift that you've been given, please, do not despise
Others too are found disliked in prejudiced eyes.
Enjoy the beauty of the boys that you will see around
It is a joy that as you grow you'll find no less profound
Than that your brothers often see in the beauteous female form.
Tho' some will sneer and say that you are not within their norm.
Since the world began there were men who've loved the sight of boys.
Enjoy them as wee humans and not as sexual toys.
If you find a boy you love that stands above the rest
Show him that you care for him and tell him he's the best.
Talk and teach and help him grow and take his rightful place
When he's sad and troubled, wipe the tears from his face.
Hold him and comfort him when his problems multiply,
For there's a joy in helping him, a joy they can't deny.
If his love for you grows strong, his precious love return.
Do no harm but love him well and you'll have no concern.

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11-14-2011, 10:31 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2011 10:41 PM by 420Guy.)
Post: #22
RE: Issue #11 - 5th Anniversary Edition
Category: Boys and Work
Title: Powerless to Help a "System" Snarled Boy
Author: Remo di Roma
Forum: BLo

Christmas 2009, and my student had thrown a rock through the cab of a substitute teacher's pick-up truck. This true tale is about love and understanding.

Previously, the eleven year old had squeezed a bottle of blue Tempera paint over this teacher as he marked his name off on the board repeatedly. It was almost comical. I was gone that day, but as relayed to me, the boy was told, "Do that again, and I'll give you another check!" Of course he repeated his action. Our main teacher got involved and screamed at him, and the boy painted him head to foot as well. I dislike people who scream at boys. The pay-back was that this teacher didn't get the paint off his neck for three days, which made me smile. Returning to school after that suspension, the boy came to the front office and picked up another Tempera bottle, also blue. I said to him, "You know I can't allow a repeat performance on my shift. Let's work together and make each other look GOOD. Let's be good.” He handed me the paint, grabbed my hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it. I melted on the spot and just smiled.

Funny enough, in this precise location he had once given that screaming teacher with the blue-stained neck a black eye, requiring a hospital visit. The boy had exclaimed that next time he would go for the other eye, and "blind" the screamer if he could. With loving irony I have named this teacher who yells at children "Mr. Happy".

The substitute teacher had been handing out candy. There were only three children to the classroom; that's how severe our children are. Two boys were stockpiling their collection without eating it, and did relay races or capture-the-flag exercises, behind the teacher's back. The blue boy painter didn't like that the other boys not only got candy, but were also being disruptive, and would not go to his desk. He bolted from the room, and found the substitute teacher's pick-up truck in the parking lot. He picked up a rock just as I caught up with him. He smiled as I calmly said, "Put down the rock." Without hesitation he threw it so forcefully it not only broke the camper top shell window but busted through the rear view window of the truck, smashing three panes of safety glass.

I said, "I'm sorry. Now I must lay hands on you." Picture a slender and lanky blond haired boy with severe behavioural problems and a poverty-stricken upbringing. His short hair had "cat scratches", or designs carved into his temples. This amazingly cute boy who I admire had previously taken my hand and asked me to rub his hair, and has repeatedly wrapped my hands around his back and hugged me so firmly and never wanted to let go. He practically melted when I took hold of him. To touch him made me breathless. He felt so good, as if there was a symbiotic connection. He tried to hug me again. I could only be happy, and so was he, somehow wanting the physical hold. I had to bring him inside and isolate him on the administrator's orders. I thought this unnecessary. He was ready to go back to class. He had intermittent rage disorder - once his 'bomb' had blown he was perfectly stable.

In the room, after passing basic compliance testing, he noticed that I had tears in my eyes. He cocked his head, tilting it back and forth like a dog trying to understand or to figure out a strange sound. I cried. I laughed just a second, remembering a time was when I was all sweaty and he rushed up to me and took a sniff of me and said, "You smell good. Me like sweat!" He said, "Don't be sad. It's Okay. Please don't cry. I don't want you to be sad." I looked over at my colleague who was standing guard with me and my lower lip started quivering, and he asked, "What's the matter? Man up!"

I slurred out, "I feel the boy's throwing his life away without realizing it. He doesn't know what he's doing or think about what happens when he does these things." The boy yanked my hands downwards forcefully as if to "shake me out of my sadness." I told him, "Sorry, that won't work. I care so much about you, you know I do. I just don't want anything bad to happen."

The boy dried the tears from my eyes with fingers that had previously blackened that screaming teacher's eye, and I smiled. He then embraced me and spun me around like an alligator takes his prey under water. Heck, I felt I was underwater because of my tears, but he hugged me and looked up with his pale blue eyes into my own. I was in heaven and I loved him. He knew he was loved, but he also knew everything else he'd done meant leaving his group home and being moved again.

The very last time I saw him he was looking at me through the glass of a police car, when they took him away in handcuffs to file a report. Last summer, tanning in my back yard, listening to music, tears would often run down my face - as if I sensed that more "harm" had come to him by people who didn't understand him. I dream of him often, and awaken crying. Then I ask my German Shepherd to join me in bed to lick my tears away and to help me settle myself.

The boy was loved. I never yelled at him once. I'd have adopted him, but he would have required round-the-clock supervision. The foster care authorities felt that such children must be locked up. If you love a child who needs a parent, and if your state laws permit "our kind", please consider fostering or adopting.
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11-14-2011, 10:31 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2011 10:42 PM by 420Guy.)
Post: #23
RE: Issue #11 - 5th Anniversary Edition
Category: Features and Profiles
Title: An Epistemological Enquiry of the Boy-Lover Phenomenon
Author: Alcibiades
Forum: BLo

I hope no one will be surprised if I issue the following statement: “Boy lovers are considered a problem in modern society.” The main objective of this article isn’t to take sides. The fact that I publish it in MBM would betray my personal views anyway. I intend, nonetheless, to explain “where,” or, more precisely, “when,” the trouble started, and what modulated the wave of hatred we now face. My readings, of course, aren’t thorough, and these ruminations merely summarize who I am and what I believe in, so don’t jump to the barricades, nor throw me any stone while we explore two different facets of our problematic: the Judeo-Christian beliefs and the modern episteme.

As I was sifting through the boy-love related posts, over the last few weeks, I noticed that many people blame orthodox religious groups for our somehow difficult situation. I don’t personally believe it to be true. I think, in fact, that religious groups, who targeted homosexuals in the beginning, moved from target to target because of the modern “acceptance,” or “tolerance,” to be more precise, of homosexuality. Of course, I know most people will answer me referring to Ancient Greek relationships. Most people would tell me that, when Ancient Greeks could have relationships with boys, it disappeared when Christians slowly appeared, which would be, on the one hand, slightly anachronistic and, on the other hand, a mistaken simplification.

In order to get a full understanding of the situation, we must compare the Greek social patterns to the Roman ones, since the latter saw the birth and rise of Christianity. And, while doing so, we indeed notice that, when boy-love was judged acceptable for Ancient Greeks (although homosexuality between two men wasn’t*1 ), the situation was different when we turned to Romans: being the dominant part of a homosexual relationship (the “top,” in modern thinking) was considered acceptable, while being the passive agent (the “bottom”) was likely to be considered weak, and the boy-lover relationships were prohibited.

The reason here, isn’t as obvious as it may seem, since quoting Sodom and Gomorrah doesn’t help much, even though it’s the most commonly evocated when referring to the perception of homosexuality in Christianity. Christianity, just as Judaism and other monotheist religions for that matter (Buddhism isn’t a religion, I’d like to stress that, because it’s godless), is based on dichotomies, such as the opposition between man and wife, nature and culture, good and bad, etc.

The Ancient Greek and Roman cultures weren’t that dichotomous (of course, the Greek citizenship status and the social differences were based in such oppositions, but not the emotional roles, since you could be a father, have a family and, on the side, have one or several lovers), and one could pass from one role to the other. Christianity, however, changed the cards: one had to fit in its expected role not to suffer from the social stigmata. Thus, when you were the passive part of a homosexual relationship, you couldn’t identity as “X’s man lover” anymore, but rather as “X’s wife.”

A similar situation can be observed in nineteenth century Central USA, in Native American culture history*2 . Thus I don’t believe religion to be the root of our problems, even though it contributed in many ways: it gave them an organization and a mock authority status which allow them to speak in the name of an illusory majority.

The problem gets a little clearer when you perceive it from a child psychology point of view. Touching children wasn’t, in fact, considered to be unacceptable in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, because: 1- People believed children to be little adults; 2- People thought it wouldn’t affect the children’ personalities (following #1). The only problem arose when there was complete intercourse, because it wasn’t a fertile union under the benediction of the church. Things consequently appear to have changed at the turn of the century, when we shift to the modern episteme, as defined in Foucault’s L’Archéologie du savoir.

According to Foucault, the modern episteme is quite simple: the human race’s limits. Every science would thus try to find the limit of our possibilities: astrophysics, quantum mechanics, organic chemistry, medicine, psychology, sociology, they all try, in one way or the other, to describe either the human being or its environment. Of course, Foucault believes this episteme to take place after World War II but I’d rather start about forty years earlier, in 1901 to be precise, with the publication of Freud’s Psychopathology of Everyday Life.

Freudian’s psychology, just as the following psychological descriptions by Jung, helped us discovering an overwhelming fact: children have sexual thoughts and, in some cases, a sexual life. In the first instance it was, for Freud, the Oedipus complex, now so commonly referred to it’s part of the common knowledge, but we came to discover, with Jungian psychology, that sexual thoughts could be expressed in many ways. Needless to remind you that Freud’s theories were highly criticized at the time: intellectuals accepted it a little blindly at first, while religious groups heightened their shields: children couldn’t have a sex-life because they were a symbol of purity and innocence.

Admitting children are entitled to sexuality is, in fact, hard even for the parents, because it’s a very touchy subject and most people don’t want to talk about it*3. Only after Freud were child molestation cases interpreted from a sexual point of view; only after Freud did we consider that sexual promiscuity between adults and children could influence the child’s development. Of course, most of the cases studied at that time were ones of rape and abuse, so the social image built upon that. The only words that come to the public were “complex,” “delusion” and “unconscious desires.” Enough to spook most people and put the paranoid gears on the move.

Yet, it would once again be oversimplifying to say that the fear of “damaging” a child for life explains the hatred oriented toward boy lovers. I would tend, in that sense, to crossbreed the two halves of this short exposé. I believe the schema, the preconceived idea, of children as pure and untouched human beings, influenced people’s interpretation of Freudian theories under the modern episteme. I explain: looking for the limit of human psychological experience and human normality (modern episteme), people used the religious ethos, under which children should remain pure until well into their adulthood (marked by the wedding), to rationalize the discovery that childhood traumas explain adult psychopathologies. Thus, instead of helping the child making sense of his situation, the boy lover would be pulling the boy out of an idealized state of purity and breaking him, little by little, until his psyche was torn to shreds. Which would explain why, during the century, the boy-lover witch-hunt settled, and why its acuteness increased after homosexuals were accepted into society: we are victims of the taboo that is child sexuality.

That is, of course, only one hypothesis, and other approaches may prove to be more conclusive. I think, nonetheless, that my view isn’t that far off.

*1 - I have to stress, here, that the passage from Ancient Greece to Romans isn’t a clear-cut one. What became the “typical” Romans culture, as perceived by contemporary thinkers, is widely consequent to historians of the nineteenth century and Latin documents who were too often written under a Catholic influence. Also, I’d like to say that the stigmata against the bottom isn’t related to religion, but to the view of an “ideal warrior,” which is why there seem to be some kind of dichotomy, even though it’s more of a continuum.

*2 - Berdaches, men who dressed like women and behaved like women and inversely, were thought to have strong magical powers, because they had the powers of both men and women. It was, to take modern philosophy terminology, a dialectic relation rather than a dichotomist one. When the Christian missionaries started evangelizing the area, however, the social perception of the berdache phenomenon changed, and they were then considered as pariahs and heretics, even though, decades earlier, they would have qualified to be grand priests.

*3 - To illustrate that, I’d like to refer to Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s Confessions, and more particularly to the spanking episode, quoted on many occasions by psychoanalytical analysis. After committing a mischief, Jean-Jacques, who was a eight years old at the time, was spanked by his miss Lambercier and apparently took some pleasure out of it. He mentions taking a lot of pleasure in being punished by the very hand of the person he loved the most, the one who was like a mother to him and, even though he didn’t want to recidivate, he was waiting for the spanking to happen again. According to Rousseau, when miss Lambercier, after a second session of spanking, realized he enjoyed it (do you need me to draw you a picture of how she discovered?), immediately stopped punishing him that way and gave him his own room – they used to sleep together. So the “mother” was shocked by her “son’s" emotions, and the first public of that book was evenly shocked by that self-indictment.

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11-14-2011, 10:32 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2011 10:42 PM by 420Guy.)
Post: #24
RE: Issue #11 - 5th Anniversary Edition
Category: BoyLover Reflections
Title: Really dark times
Author: AlphaBoy
Forum: MBM

“Long distance relationships will kill you”, as the saying goes, and it almost did it with me, literally. That year represented a really hard time for me...

After the only YF I ever had betrayed me before that year’s summer, I went into a deep depression... You know what I am talking about. I mean, he was my SYF, the boy to whom I gave everything that I could have ever given: my love, my heart, my money, my time and all my effort to provide him with almost everything he could ever need.

That was meant to be a difficult relationship from the beginning. I met the boy over the internet, and he turned out to be about 1000 kilometers from my place. Things between us improved rapidly and we managed to meet each other in person in just a few months. From then, I did everything to make him happy, and sometimes even the impossible for him. I ought to say that he was not a cutie, he was not hot, not blonde, nor the Bieber kind, and his voice tone was a little annoying sometimes, but he was MY boy, and I loved him as I have never loved before!

It lasted for about four years. The first of those years were really difficult for me, because I was almost alone in that adventure of being an AF for the first time. I expended entire nights suffering the self-repression of my most fleshy and lustful feelings in order to keep that boy safe, and I achieved it! I am proud to say that I never ever even stared lustfully at him. It was a huge battle against myself in which I discovered the boylove essence within me, without any guideline or support... I do not know if in such inner searching with the intent of finding the best of me for him, I disregarded something important to him, or what were the "mistakes" I committed with him, but that's something I would never know.

In the meantime, I discovered the boylove community and found out that I was not alone. I could finally understand everything that had happened to me, and I could accept the fact of being boylover, and even felt proud of being one. The ideals I forged in my mind during those years, finally found solid foundations. So with all the support received from the Boylove community, and a clear mind scenario of how things should be, I was set up to be the best AF ever, at least for him. But then, the fatal day arrived...

When I was with him in his room, he seemed to be sad, or at least he caused that impression on me... He didn't want to talk to me about that, so I told him, as always, "You know, my sweetheart, there's nothing you should hide from me... You can trust me with everything!"

So he told me in such a cold and unemotional way, that froze my blood, "I don't feel anything for you, I don't even like you! I Don't want to know about you anymore, but I hope you can at least fulfill the promises that you made to me!", and my drama began... I did everything in my hands to try to understand what had happened, and to revert such a painful situation, but the die was cast, and all my boylove ideals immediately collapsed.

That's how I went into such a deep depression, that made me go through really hard difficulties in my real life, as well as with some fellow boylovers. I even tried to kill myself, but I couldn’t!

I was undergoing such a personal crisis when BLn went offline, and once the news began trickling in, a gathering of new hard and harmful feelings came together.

I didn't even know if I should or shouldn't fulfill such promises because I am a guy that always keeps his word. I had to rediscover my system of beliefs to understand I shouldn’t do that at all!

It is still hard and painful to remember the good times we had together, and I don't even know if such memories are real, or if he was just feigning love for me, and that represents a huge torture for me. It’s actually the most awful experience I have ever had.

After a devastating new year time, I discovered the brand new website Modern BoyLover Magazine, and that was the door to my reinsertion into the BoyLover community. It was not an easy decision, considering the uncertainty and insecurity of those days, but I finally did.

That way, I decided to undertake another opportunity on boylove stuff, but I soon realized that I would not fit in with another regular boylove board ever. Maybe the community changed a lot in that time, or maybe I did with such a hurtful experience.

Now I feel I am in a second phase on my personal boylove development. I would like to provide support to the boylove community, but in a radical new way for me. And now I am here, pushing everything from the greatest corner in the boylover web (in my opinion), MBM. I think I can offer something interesting and different over here, and I will continue doing it as far as I can.

At this time, I don't know if I would recover my trust on boyhood. So now I am here, looking forward to a new beginning, in the hope of chasing a huge boylove blooming in my life.

In retrospect, that boy devastated me and made me waste almost five years of my energy and time in a worthless effort. I ask myself if it’s worth to living this kind of life, and the evident answer suggested, by reason, is NO. But when I am sited at the park, feeling my own and the worlds miseries, and then I hear some little boys playing funny games and one of those asks me “Sir, can you give me that ball, please?” with a really sweet voice, and he smiles at me, I am sure that in my next life, I will choose to be a boylover again.
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11-14-2011, 10:32 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2011 10:42 PM by 420Guy.)
Post: #25
RE: Issue #11 - 5th Anniversary Edition
Category: Creative Work
Title: Love
Author: Vincent (King/Prince Paul)
Forum: BoyMoment

When love beckons, follow it,
allow it to enfold you in its wings
of deep and heavy sleep,
though the sword hid among its feathers cuts you.
And if it speaks to you, believe it,
Although its voice scatters your dreams.

Because love crowns you, it blesses you too
and needing you to grow, eases your lot greatly.
It brings to your highest and weakest branches caresses
which make them vibrate in the sun,
and resonate to your roots,
thrust deep to grip the earth,
until your song harmonises with this music.
It thirsts to know your naked being.
It wants you stripped of chaff.

Love gives only itself and of itself alone
Love does not possess, and cannot be possessed
Love in itself is enough.

So you love and desire.
Let your wishes melt into a babbling brook,
let it sing to the night.
Know the pain of too much tenderness
wounded by your own understanding of love
and willing and happy to bleed.
In the morning light, with a winged heart awake
and give thanks for another day of love.
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11-14-2011, 10:32 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2011 10:43 PM by 420Guy.)
Post: #26
RE: Issue #11 - 5th Anniversary Edition
Category : Boylover Reflections
Author : Bechgyn
Forum : BM
Title : My First Trip to Spain

Beyond the Pyrenees when we were loving, young
We rode our petrol pungent bikes on burning roads to skirt a sunlit shore
And wonder at the sights and sounds that never were in cloudy Albion.
The nose-blinding scent of Bougainvillea that cascades from ancient cottage walls
A donkey bearing two sweet laughing near unclad boys of tender years
Firm breasted girls entering hopefully,distantly a church to pray that husbands might be found or lost depending
Or the old and wrinkled to beg for mercy or for death's brow smoothing hand
An onion seller who beats his ass's flanks and cries out his fat globes
Having ridden hard, we relish vino while lying upon the welcoming unmoving sward
We spurn the bottle and gurgle rojo from a goatskin as peasants do and feel clever
Cheese we ate we'd bought in France and fresh Santander bread to stay the belly's rumble,
More rojo, too much perhaps and lie back loud life-loving laughter
Goatskin drained, bottle void so cast away arcing into those never to be forgotten yesterdays.
We are young and we know we'll live for ever and love for eons to come
We rode away to Castro Urdiales the stone-clad harbour to attend
The treasures of a small port that please the eyes and makes young lovers blood race
Naked boys running, jumping, shouting, laughing, diving from the harbour wall into the green swell
Climbing, dripping up again to cheekily parade for me their starkly sun-kissed beauty
Oh how I pity English youth constricted by customs so difficult to grasp
For supper Calamares, fries and blanco served by a stout mujer with fat arms and larger smile
Then head exploding Muscatel-propelled to bed for dreams of now and many more tomorrows
What pulled that pallid English youth to sunny Iberia
The brevity of life and youth being lived lovingly

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11-14-2011, 10:33 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2011 10:43 PM by 420Guy.)
Post: #27
RE: Issue #11 - 5th Anniversary Edition
Category: Boylover Reflections
Title: Caring for Your Boy...and Your Pocket Too!
Author: AlphaBoy
Forum: MBM

If you hold, or have ever held, a special relationship with a special boy, or just remember how it was to be a boy, then you should know that a boy's necessities are sometimes almost infinite. Trying to satisfy them could be really good for our souls, but very dangerous for our pockets. So here are some counsels and tricks you can practice to have a very happy boy, without bankrupting yourself.

Don’t give your boy all he wants, but try to afford him all his real, fundamental necessities. Always prioritize his health and basic welfare. When it comes to doctors, little boys don't usually like them, so homeopathy is always an excellent and cheaper option (they love homeopathic medicines!). If necessary, also buy him some clothing, maybe a cool shirt or some pair of tennis shoes, and don’t surprise him with a gift! It is always better to take the boy with you for him to choose it (that shall make him much more happy, just don’t go where the clothing is really expensive!). Beyond our expectations, if one attends to the boy's necessities subtly and with much love, care, and will, they shall be really thankful and love-worthy with you. You might be surprised by how very sensitive boys can be to this kind of attention, if conducted correctly.

Needless to say, taking him regularly to the dentist is fundamental. You would be really smart to make him understand it's for his welfare, as boys don’t like the dentist (you can quickly become the evil dentist-lover guy!). A basic semi-annual medical check-up is fundamental to detect in time any disease or problem and attend to it as soon as possible (for example, if he needs to wear glasses). If you can get suitable social security for the boy, it’s going to be not so expensive as private doctors.

Candies... Any boy has a undeniable weakness for candy and chocolate. If a boy was allowed to, he could spend the whole ten years budget of the United States to buy “just some” candy. While most of us agree that candy are noxious for the health, a boyhood without candy just can’t be called infancy. Encourage him to leave the actual industrialized candies and teach him to eat natural traditional candies from your region. You can find them in your local market, and they are usually more nutritious. Take advantage of sales and discounts to buy a huge bunch of them, and give your boy a few of them from time-to-time, but be careful when hiding them because boys seem to have a candy radar, and they shall find them for sure!

A boy always needs to be rewarded by almost anything, to keep his spirits high, because for him, the most important things are often the simplest ones. However, rewarding a boy can be a very huge charge for our economies, so you can try alternative (cheaper) ways of rewarding him than just buying him something! According to the saying, "love starts in the stomach," boys are especially sensitive to delicious food. Figure out which are the preferred dishes of your boy, and try to please him on occasion. When he has accomplished something really important to him, instead of giving him some kind of strange gadget, it would be better to get him to your home (or in his place) and cook him that special pizza along with ice cream and coke that he loves so much (you don't necessarily need to afford a fancy restaurant!). Be sure to get to know all of his likes so you can have a wide range of options when he needs to be rewarded(don’t ever forget the effective part, a huge hug and a great congratulation, without giving a boring and unintelligent speech to him).

Nowadays, toys can be very expensive, especially the electronic ones. All sorts of imaginable toys exist, and we must be really careful when choosing toys for them. Always listen to what your boy wants and asks for, and try to please him with some of them. Do not buy him senseless games full of violence, and if you do, let him know you don’t like it and he shall ask you why, so then you shall be enabling you to talk to him and make him aware of why they might be so bad for him. Maybe you can interpose a game he wishes so much with one he doesn’t, and you must choose those carefully. Try to give him some toys and games that integrate the boy with his family and with you. If he doesn't have one buy him a bicycle and teach him, so both of you can ride together. Games that stimulate his mind are strongly recommended, too. Chess and Dominoes are the games par excellence. Those which help to train a special skill or ability are preferred as well. Let the gaming time with your boy be a time of healthy learning, growth and fun for the both of you!

Technology is part of our civilization, and we just can’t pretend it doesn't exist. The boy might actually consider having an iPhone, an iPad and an iPod Nano at the same time to be absolutely necessary, for sure! And we just can’t fool them by buying an old model of any kind of gadget because, believe it or not, they shall detect it immediately! No matter if your boy is a technology geek or not, boys want those devices more and more. If your economy cannot support this kind of expense, it's best for you to talk to his parents about the convenience of buying him some stuff of this kind, and try to afford it together. If you are in a position to buy it, then look for sales or try to defer the bill in payments, and if the store or your credit card allow it, always look for the plans without interest. Don’t buy something that you won’t be able to pay for later! By the way, if he already has an iPod Touch or iPhone, an excellent, and not so expensive, gift would be an iTunes gift card, and he shall be really happy downloading games, apps, music, etc. to his device (for a smaller gift, a cheaper one would be to gift him that 1 USD “amazing” app he wants so bad!).

Most boys adore travels, and they are the perfect excuse for you to spend time with your boy. But in any travel it is easy to lose control of the expenses, and it can be a huge headache, especially if you own a credit card. Travels can be really expensive, even more so if airplane tickets are involved. If both of you are going to take a plane, look for an airway that holds special low fares for boys under the age of yours, and buy the tickets with enough anticipation (for example, by booking tickets 6 months early you can get great fares). Don’t try to afford luxurious hotels unless absolutely necessary (just imagine going to Walt Disney World and not staying in one of those fabulous thematic hotels that are an attraction by themselves?). Match your preferences to his, and look for those places in which both of you can live a great, unforgettable adventure. Boys usually love nature places, camping, hiking, swimming, etc. Find a place near your town where you can explore and have much fun with him, and you shall find a very cheap way of pleasing your boy. If you are planning a more ambitious vacation plot, it might be convenient to get the assistance of a travel agency to get lower fares, and the perfect vacations with your little angel. Don’t forget to take him into account to fully plan that amazing travel!

There are always unpredictable situations that shall arise, and you need to be prepared. Having a boy is a great responsibility, so you should be able to save a bit of your income to make two general funds. A little one for those small great moments he has, like a high grade in a test, or if he finally finished that almost impossible video game! Or for some of those unexpected expenses, like a last minute homework assignment, an ice-cream, or if he needs some money to invite that handsome boy to watch a movie at the cinema. You can’t forget that he counts on you, and you must be prepared for anything he needs. Don’t fail him!

It shall take some time to earn the greater fund, and it's intended for specific purposes, such as to buy him a fancy birthday gift. Consider the important periodical dates important to him, like his birthday, the end of the school-year, boy’s day, Santa Claus, your anniversary, etc., and plan what are you going to gift him on these special occasions.

The worst thing you can do with a boy, is to gift him all he wants; do it, and you shall soon find out you have created a monster, avid of having more and more senseless stuff each time. Do not lose control of the relationship in any way, especially for such a stupid reason as the economics. Instead of gifting him that portable video game he wants so bad, better get one “for yourself”, and then lend it to him “for some time”. You are the only one knowing you bought it to him. That way, he shall enjoy it a lot and shall think you are the coolest friend because you have lent him a lot of your stuff, and you shall be able to ask him to return some of them if, for example, he lowers his grades in school, promising to give it back to him as soon as he improve them.

These are just some counsels to keep a healthy relationship with your boy, but I am sure you can find much more after reading this brief guideline by yourself. If you follow these recommendations, you shouldn't spoil your boy, you shall end with a really satisfied and happy boy, and he shall value even more the special friendship you offer to him.
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11-14-2011, 10:33 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2011 10:44 PM by 420Guy.)
Post: #28
RE: Issue #11 - 5th Anniversary Edition
MBM TOP 10: Best Boys!

*Please note that the results are a combination of votes from, BoyMoment, YoungCity & Modern BoyLover Magazine forums, they may differ from the results on each individual site.*

There was a tie between Ronan & Quentin, Ronan got the most 'bonus' votes (mentioned in replies= Ronan 6, Quentin 1).

There was also a tie between Jake T Austin, Zachary Gordon & Boy #7. Jake got 3 bonus votes, Zachary got 1. [/color]

#10- Max Records
#9- Boy #7
#8- Zachary Gordon
#7- Jake T Austin
#6- Boy #10
#5- Maxence Bodillus
#4- Chase Ellison
#3- Quentin
#2- Ronan Parke
#1- Christian Beadles

Congrats go to PartiBoi for nominating the #1 boy, and thanks to everyone who participated! buddies
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11-14-2011, 10:33 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2011 10:44 PM by 420Guy.)
Post: #29
RE: Issue #11 - 5th Anniversary Edition
Category : Creative Work
Title : Let me paint a picture
Author : Ddavey
Forum : MBM

Let me paint a picture of a boy from long time past.

He would lie on his back in the long, sweet green grass, beside the tall beeches, staring up into the bottomless, blue ocean of sky, wishing he could swim like a fish-bird, up through the leafy branches and past the white clouds, towards the distant sun.

Knee-deep in the sparkling silver stream, he'd fish with a net for red-bellied minnows and spiny shimmering sticklebacks that swam amongst the verdant watercress.

He would seek out the caddisfly that hid beneath the pebbles in their dun coloured, homemade armour.

In a jam jar of frog spawn, he would watch the wriggling black tadpoles form within the clouded eggs, his water-babies.

Walking to school on autumn mornings, sampling night-dark sloes, sour crab-apples and scarlet, bitter-oily rose-hips, he would marvel at the dew-spangled spider webs covering the hedge row, lit by the bright morning sun.

All gone without a trace by mid morning. All remade afresh tomorrow. All for him.

Quiet in the gloom beneath the elm trees at sunset, he would eavesdrop on the raucous chatter of the rooks, wheeling aloft in their funereal plumage.
What secrets did he steal from them? That they, too, were hungry? That they loved to make fun?

That they were sad to lose the golden warmth of the sun, and fought over who should have the cosiest roost?

Or maybe that they wondered aloud, who that boy was down below...

In that deepest winter, so long ago, he saw helicopters feed the sheep and cattle, dropping yellow hay onto pearly distant fields.

He woke to find the roads disappeared overnight, under a pristine snowy blanket, so heavy that trees were broken.

Dug blue-shaded tunnels through the drifts, and rolled snowballs bigger than himself.

Snapping icicles from the low eaves of the school, with mittened hands livid from the cold, he frost-stuck them to his tongue.

Inspired by Hollywood tough-guys, he played commando, squirming unseen on his stomach in the dust, under cabbages and broccoli, on his way to storm the cottage next door.

The old lady who dwelt there would submit to his assault and pay him tribute of hugs and kisses, and maybe rainbow-coloured sweeties.
Tending his own, tiny corner of her garden, he raised marigolds from seed, watched for the first tiny acid-green shoots, amazed that they actually grew.

Filled with wonder by the hot vibrant orange-red flowers, so freely given.

He would roam like a bandit across the drab industrial wasteland, his birthright, to climb the tall grey coal-pit spoil heaps, abandoned and dangerous, that brooded over the silent pit bank, littered with rusting gear.
Scrambling up the unstable slopes towards the azure sky, thinking himself a new Mallory, he ascended the Himalayas.

That boy from long time past lives yet. He lives within.
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11-14-2011, 10:34 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2011 10:45 PM by 420Guy.)
Post: #30
RE: Issue #11 - 5th Anniversary Edition
Category: Features and Profiles
Title: The Modern Boylover Difference in Loving a Boy
Author: NetZoomer
Forum: BLo

What is the difference in the love that a parent, sibling, mentor, teacher, coach, friend or many others have for a boy compared to that of a boylover? In the context of this article, by boylover, I mean adults who not only love boys in an altruistic manner, but also have a sexual attraction to boys. I can't answer for other boylovers, but I can answer for myself. I was never raped or treated badly by anyone when I was a boy. Therefore, I am an example of being a boylover for other reasons that I cannot explain.

I cannot deny that I have a strong sexual attraction towards boys, especially those who I consider cute, good looking, handsome or one of the many attributes that create that sexual attraction. I do also love boys who do not fit this mold, but I have to be honest that I do not have a sexual attraction towards them. (Just as a hetero guy can have a sexual attraction to some girls but not all). It is possible that any of the above individuals may also have a sexual attraction to boys, but most adults claim they do not. Society considers having this sexual attraction a sickness that inevitably leads to applying pressure to boys to have sex, and also to physically abuse them. My opinion is that some boylovers may have consensual sex with boys. However, society and the law calls this abuse and categorizes a loving sexual encounter as the same or even worse than beating a boy to a pulp and even murder. I do not subscribe to this thinking. And it is a sad state of affairs that normally logical thinking adults can be swayed to think this way.

Here is what being a boylover means to me and how and why this has influenced me in my relationship with the boys in my life.

1) Unlike those who do not have a sexual attraction to boys, I see boys differently. It comes down to having almost unlimited patience with a boy. I have a son. When he was a boy I easily tolerated the noise he made, the running around he did, the incessant talking that occurred, and the amazing inquisitiveness he had among other attributes. My wife, who also loves him, got annoyed and impatient when he did these things, and she wanted to, and often did, punish him for just being a boy. Then she got mad at me for not taking him to task for these "transgressions". How could I when I did not see it that way?

2) I am able to listen to what a boy says from a different angle. I go deep below the surface to find out what makes him tick, why does he feel a certain way about life, and to truly understand his moods of happiness, sorrow, pensiveness and the many other moods that a boy can have. I want to know what makes him feel vulnerable or confident, and to figure out what I can do to help him be the best person he can be. This leads to the following issue.

3) In order to do what I said above, I have no ceiling in the time I am willing to spend with a boy to get to really know him and to uncover the mystery that he wraps himself in. Because I am willing to do this, and to let the boy dictate how much time is enough, others may interpret this as being unhealthy for the boy, at best, and predatory at the worst. I have very little patience for those who think that way because they do not love boys sufficiently to give them the time they need and often demand to become fully fulfilled and happy individuals. My feeling is if there were more boylovers around to love boys, the crime rate would drop dramatically.

4) I am willing to answer any question a boy has that others may find embarrassing or awkward. And if I don't know the answer, I will take the time to find out. Sometimes this may require out-of-the-normal-actions to help the boy discover those answers. But I am willing to take the risk to do that, as long as the boy is happy with that approach.

5) I do not find it embarrassing to express my love for him publicly or in private. If he initiates it, or is comfortable with hugs, appropriate kisses, hand holding and other legal forms of physical contact that the other people in his life may not give or find embarrassing or even fear it might give a signal of sexual attraction, I am willing to do it. I wouldn't do anything stupid or irresponsible, but I do not have that same level of concern that others have, or worry what they may think of me.

So how does all of this help a boy? It makes him feel someone understands him like no other, as the unique individual he is. At its highest level, it gives the boy a feeling of euphoria that an adult actually has connected with his inner being that he never thought could happen. He opens up to this person in ways he never could to the other people who also love him. It enables the boylover to be more effective in the development of the boy as a balanced and productive human being in a way that is easier compared to the other influential individuals in his life.

And who is this person who loves him so? A boylover, as we define it. I find that receiving the attention and true love from a boy is the greatest feeling on Earth, unlike the love in a marriage that should be unconditional, but believe me is rarely so. The love I have received from boys has been unconditional, mirroring the love that I give to them.

For me, it all originates from the sexual attraction I have for boys. What in the world is wrong with that? Nothing; nothing at all.
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